On April 27, 2020 I was admitted to the hospital for COVID related pneumonia and ARDS. I came home with lung scarring and hypoxemia. It has been a long road that I’m still recovering on. Admittedly, depression plays a part of this.
In the before-time, I’d plan 5k events, and would use a 15-minute mile as a basis for walkers when coordinating the timers. Today I work out at a pace of 21.4 minutes per mile. With a little incline it’s enough to put my heart rate up to Zone 3, so it’s a good workout. My walking pace is slow, slower than what I ever imagined it could be.
I would love to run again. It’s one of the best feelings to get out there and feel endorphins kicking in and just experience life in the moment as you let the stress drop away from you. I have this picture framed and hanging above my workstation in my home office:
https://theoatmeal.com/comics/running_shoes
It’s been 3 years following and I feel like I’m finally getting a handle on things. I’m working out with the support of my daughter Natalie and wife Angela – we regularly hit the room together in our ‘Pain Cave’ (thanks for the name Kristie) for Peloton workouts.
I know recovery takes a lot of things. It takes acceptance, effort, consistency, and support. But having your heart and mind in the right place – believing in yourself, making a decision to do something; after fighting apathy, not letting depression win…
I have empathy for anyone in the same place. I had to talk to someone, and a doctor recommended starting an anti-depressant that frankly turned things around for me. It wasn’t a quick fix, it took months before I started thinking about not just accepting bad health.
It helped me start on the path again. I’m doing things that help me see little wins again & that’s enough to keep going. I want to put it out there that if you are where I’ve been, I see you. It’s not easy & it can be overwhelming. I’m just ask for you to reach out.
